。那晚，卫灵公和夫人听见车马声音，在宫门前戛然而止，

qw130140

蘧伯玉“不欺暗室”的细节，几百年后听来还是让人佩服。那晚，卫灵公和夫人听见车马声音，在宫门前戛然而止，又过一阵再次响起。夫人南子凭着细腻的观察，猜到了是蘧伯玉，他总让车夫下车轻行，不让声音打扰君王。这种关注小节的德行，在《史记》和相关春秋资料里都有记载。不过，即使是蘧伯玉，真的能做到时时刻刻自律？不是说圣人无愧于天、无愧于人，其实总有些时候，他可能也会偷懒？但史料中，只记载他的好，没留下反面细节。所以，“不欺暗室”这个词，现在大多还是被用来形容古人高洁。放到如今，谁保证不在没人看见时松懈呢？

陶侃的母亲湛氏，她剪下自己的长发，谱写了“截发留宾”的故事。陶侃家里穷，有客来访，一时间招待不周，很尴尬。湛氏一声令下，没钱，卖头发，砍房柱当柴，连坐的草垫也拆了喂马。为客人准备一顿丰盛的饭菜，范逵感动于母子情深。东晋史料和地方志都提到这一细节。有人认为这是一种家风的延续，甚至有学者说，母亲的聪明其实就是一场急救。可她剪发那一刻，有没有紧张、难受？不见于记载。只说后来的好。要说舍得剪下自己的头发，恐怕改革开放前的老人也会犹豫吧！

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